Fuze (2026) *** – Seen at the Cinema

We often complain that movies are dumbing down, but audiences aren’t as stupid as you would think, which is why it takes half the film before this one catches fire. Can’t be a coincidence that on the very day when an unexploded bomb is discovered in London that a major bank robbery is taking place within the vicinity that’s been closed-off. Or that the finger is going to point at maverick bomb disposal expert Will (Aaron Taylor-Johnson). So while Sky has invested some bucks in having the streets and parks crawling with people and cops, it’s skimmed on the screenplay. And recruiting three potential James Bonds isn’t enough to make a difference.

My antenna were up long before an eagle-eyed subordinate noticed a few anomalies on the bomb, not enough rust for a start to qualify for a leftover from World War Two. So it’s not until the double-crossing of the second half begins that the movie takes off. Even then, we’re alerted to the possibility of double-crossing because one of the thieves, Karalis (Theo James), is clearly doubted by the unnamed robbery leader (Sam Worthington).

The robbery is well-executed though nothing we’ve not seen before except for the use of drones to spirit the haul (jewels and cash only to limit the weight) away over the rooftops. The chase would be more convincing if the pursuing cops had decided not to go any further up the sewer tunnel where some bad guys were hidden. And if the surveillance team had noticed the obvious heat signature indicating the use of power when the electricity cables had been cut by the authorities to assist the bomb disposal. However, the dust from the explosion is eerily similar to 9/11, huge cloud of dust rising over the city streets.

So the big twist is in the double cross. Karalis has stashed a package away on a rooftop chimney so he’s up to something alright. What I didn’t expect was for another gang to burst in on the robbers and steal the loot. Or that the fella who funded the robbery is going to become suspicious of Karalis, not so surprising when he discovers the jewels are fake. While Karalis is hauled away in the boot of a car, fate only too obvious, the robbers escape. Mr Anonymous escapes and gives chase and ambushes the bad-guy thieves. But before he can get away with the bounty a conveniently-placed sniper mows him down.

And then it all comes together and I have to say in somewhat surprising fashion, though the main twist is left to the very last scene. Karalis and Will are in cahoots and Will, having done a stint in Afghanistan, is well-placed for sniper duties. There’s a third member of the team, whom the camera has picked out often enough in the mayhem for audience suspicions to rise, immigrant Raheem who turns out to have been Will’s translator in Afghanistan.

The cops, led by Ms Anonymous (Gugu Mbatha-Raw), haven’t been too sharp all the way through so it’s pretty easy for the clever crooks to evade pursuit, though you would have thought an all-borders alert at airports would not have been so easily avoided by the simple device of hopping on a different plane than the ones the cops were expecting.  

If you want to know how fleeting fame can be look no further than Sam Worthington, at one time the next big thing after Terminator Salvation (2009) and the original Avatar (2009) but even though he’s starred in the billion-dollar sequels to Avatar he’s only third banana here. Aaron-Taylor Jonson (Kraven the Hunter, 2024) and Theo James (The Monkey, 2025) are both apparently (though that might be down to good publicity experts working a compliant media) contenders for the vacant James bond crown and in the light of that both acquit themselves well in the action field.

Directed by David Mackenzie (Hell and High Water, 2016) from a script by Ben Hopkins (Inside, 2023).

On  a slack week at the cinema, this was an acceptable watch and maybe it will remain so when it rolls up on a television screen near you in a couple of weeks’ time. Apple and Amazon have set a high bar for a streamer with the release of F1:The Movie and Project Hail Mary and if old stagers like Sky want to keep up they’ll have to up their game.

Bullet Train (2022) **** – Seen at the Cinema

What a blast! What a gas! And what the heck’s wrong with critics? Complaining Hollywood lacks originality and turning their noses up at this helter skelter of a thriller that hits eleven from the outset, maintains a hectic pace, and boasts gut-busting laughs.

The plot’s as complicated as it is simple. A bunch of assassins on a train trying to steal a suitcase containing ten million dollars discover they are taking the ride for another reason. Finding out they have competition, not just on board, but on various train station platforms, lends to the complications as they – and the viewer – try to work out just what the hell is going on. While there’s some great dialogue, for most of these guys fists and guns are their easiest means of communication so cue some fabulous action sequences.

Twin English hitmen Tangerine (Aaron Taylor-Johnson) and Lemon (Brian Tyree Henry) are the original messenger boys, tasked with delivering the loot from Tokyo to Kyoto on the titular train along with the son of a notorious gangster. Lemon, not the brightest gun in the arsenal, has left the case on a communal luggage rack where first off it is snaffled by Ladybug (Brad Pitt), as ethereal an assassin as you could wish for, and one in denial, preferring a more spiritual outlet for his skills. But guys who are good at killing people are less efficient at holding onto suitcases.

And so the prize bounces from character to character, including Kimura (Andrew Koji), the Wolf (Bad Bunny), Hornet (Zazie Beetz) and Prince (Joey King). Did I mention there was a deadly snake aboard and that the ultimate gangster going by the moniker of The White Death (Michael Shannon) was lying in wait? No? I didn’t want to overcomplicate matters.

Every time the various assassins, who specialize in different murder techniques, think they are getting to the bottom of the mysterious goings-on the movie virtually jumps track to head down a different route, but it does so with such elan and verve that you can’t wait for the next wrong turn.

The characterisation is as good as anything dreamt up by Tarantino, the oddbeat characters dancing to their own odd beat, the squabbling Tangerine and Lemon almost steal the show from Ladybug who believes he is suffering from a run of bad luck. And like he’s caught up in the wrong movie, Ladybug confides his thoughts to his offscreen handler Maria (Sandra Bullock). Wistful schoolgirl Prince can talk her way out of any situation. But as I said, the others prefer to just beat up their rivals.

So stand by for some of the greatest action this side of Jason Bourne and John Wick. And some of the dumbest moves this side of Dumb and Dumber. You’d think the action/comedy fusion wouldn’t work at all but the way director David Leitch plays with our expectations the whole shebang works beautifully. Though I wouldn’t describe it as such, more like an action picture that happens to make you laugh.

Part of the reason the action is so terrific is Leitch is a former stuntman, who must dream fights in his sleep, because he’s certainly dreamt up some original mano a mano stuff here. But he’s also the uncredited co-director of John Wick (2104) and sole helmer of Deadpool 2 (2018) and Fast and Furious Presents: Hobbs and Shaw (2019) so he’s no stranger to mixing action and comedy. And he takes a fluid approach to narrative.

But the laidback Brad Pitt (Ad Astra, 2019), almost a Bill Murray throwback, is absolutely superb, an Oscar worthy performance, a character re-examining his life in the midst of an assassins convention, and trying not to blame anyone attempting to kill him. Brian Tyree Henry (Joker, 2019) is the pick of the supporting cast. It’s a step up for Aaron Taylor-Johnson (The King’s Man, 2021), who plays the most irascible gangster since Daniel Day-Lewis in Gangs of New York (2002). The outstanding supporting cast is mostly made up of up-and-comers  – Joey King (The Kissing Booth 2, 2020), Zazie Beetz (Lucy in the Sky, 2019), Andrew Koji (Snake Eyes, 2021) – plus Michael Shannon (Heart of Champions, 2021) and Sandra Bullock (The Lost City, 2022) and cameos from Channing Tatum (The Lost City) and

The only minor quibbles are overuse of references to British kids fave Thomas the Tank Engine which may not be such a global phenomenon as the director would like, leading I would guess to some audience bafflement in the U.S., as might occasional mention of London soccer team West Ham, both key to the lives of Tangerine and Lemon.

Leitch owes an almighty vote of thanks to screenwriter Zak Olkewicz (Fear Street, Part Two -1978, 2021) who not only pulls the whole package together but springs brilliant lines and situations though how much was lifted directly from the source book by Kotaro Isaka I couldn’t tell you.

Can’t wait for the sequel. Brad Pitt has created a brilliant screen character that deserves a second outing.

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