The Three Musketeers
Cherchez la femme, as they say in French. Here, because everyone is doubling up (or doubling down, I never get that right, and it is of course a sequel), the narrative has our heroes (and these being four musketeers if you include D’Artagnan and not three) chasing all over France in pursuit of two women.
If you recall from episode one (and it doesn’t matter if you don’t because this starts with a neat re-cap), D’Artagnan’s (Francois Civil) girlfriend Constance (Lyna Khoudri) has been abducted after overhearing details of a plot to kill King Louis XIII (Louis Garrel), so he’s trying to find her. Meanwhile, everyone’s after Milady (Eva Green), the double-crosser’s double-crosser. In fact, to complicate matters, the movie begins with her being rescued by D’Artagnan.
As it turns out, that’s one of the easiest complications because unless you’ve got a PhD in French history, you won’t have a clue what’s going on, what with imminent English invasion, traitors inside the palace, eternal bad guy Cardinal Richelieu (Eric Ruf) and the French laying siege to their own port of La Rochelle. I’m guessing, because it’s not exactly plain, that the background is Catholic vs Protestant enmity.
I’d forgotten of course that our heroes are called musketeers for a reason and it’s not because they are swashbucklers, though they are pretty nifty with the sword, but the name indicates a certain dexterity with muskets. So, there’s rather a lot more guns being fired and buckles being swashed.
And you could be forgiven for thinking this is some kind of riposte to Downton Abbey because everywhere our heroes go there is sure to be some fabulous chateau or castle and all kinds of pomp and circumstance. It’s a tad overladen with characters and not all stand out enough. D’Artagnan doesn’t quite command the screen and of other trio it’s lusty Porthos (Pio Marmai) who steals the show, always ready with a chat-up line or falling down unconscious from alcoholic intake.
Milady is by the far the most interesting character, tying all the males in knots, escaping every type of peril, dodging the hangman’s noose and an inferno and setting up Part III with a clever climax. Although the period wasn’t rife with feminism, she is the poster girl, not just adept with any weapon (including teeth), but detailing what it’s like to be eternally molested by men.
Constance, on the other hand, is as dumb as they come. The scene that allows D’Artagnan to wallow in pathos, you can’t help howling with laughter because the stupid girl has brought on herself a pitiless fate.
Sets quite a pace, but sometimes it’s hard to keep up with the politics and who is romancing who, and why someone who has been helpful in the past now has to be bumped off.
I hope this has earned its big budget back in France because I doubt if it will do well anywhere else.
Feels like director Martin Bourboulon (Eiffel, 2021) has bitten off more than anybody can chew.
Godzilla Minus One
Not just a remake but, as it turns out, a prequel. It’s nipped in early, ahead of the next vehicle in the recycle business Kong vs Godzilla due out next year.
In this Japanese version, made by Toho Studios which was responsible for the 1954 original, the timeline is 1945-1947. It kicks off at the end of World War Two with cowardly Japanese kamikaze pilot Skikishima (Ryonusuke Kamiki) unable to pull the trigger as the monster emerges from the depths. Fast forward to U.S. nuclear tests on the Bikini Atholl, and the creature now mutates with devastating impact on the mainland.
By this point, Skikishima has acquired an orphaned baby and takes on a job on a minesweeper (his trigger finger now put to good use) destroying the thousands of mines left behind after the war so he’s in the front line when the monster re-emerges with an atomic heat-ray in its arsenal, never find those stomping feet and destructive tail.
There’s some clever scientific ruses to destroy Godzilla involving Freon tanks (whatever they are) and some jiggery-pokery to lower the water’s buoyancy (what now?) but basically as you might expect it’s mostly our favorite monster decimating cities and taking on every warship and airplane that the country can throw at it.
It’s pretty good fun but you might find it hard to sympathize with a kamikaze pilot.
The Magnificent 60s 
I gave up after half an hour for Three Musketeers, I thought it was just me, but maybe my history degree isn’t enough to get a handle on what’s happening.
No screeners for Godzilla, I’ll catch up with it at some point.
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Needed footnotes.
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At least at home, I can look up the plot on Wikipedia to find out what’s happening…
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I started reading the book to see if I can work it all out.
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That’s a real last resort.
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Milady works quite well in France apparently. Enough to add another Dumas to the collection of Dimitri Rassam the producer: The Count of Monte Cristo with Pierre Niney in the title role. I quite liked this lively second part. The very beautiful image (magnificent work by Nicolas Bolduc who worked on Villeneuve’s “Enemy”), the sustained pace. However, I understand the comments about the film’s flaws. For my part, I noted them in my review of “D’Artagnan”. I ended up getting used to it and enjoying the show. It’s not so often that we see a film with such ambition in French production.
I didn’t see “Godzilla Minus One” (released only two days in Paris) but “Shin Godzilla” a few days ago, a reboot dating from 2016. I found it fantastic, both in its form and in terms of content. It’s a very intelligently handled film which also presents itself as a tribute to the entire saga. A way of showing Americans that Gojira is first and foremost Japanese.
Time to wish you a merry Christmas day Brian. Always a pleasure to read you.
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Glad the picture is doing well. I’ll look out for the other Godzilla. Happy Xmas, monsieur, and keep up the good work.
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